Taxi Cab Confessions

My friend, Sally, a fellow AUC colleague whose Arabic language skills greatly surpass my own (since, lucky her, she was raised speaking it), posted this on her blog. A real conversation, a bit of life that I think is well worth sharing. (Her blog is linked in the right sidebar, but here it is again: http://egyptiansally.blogspot.com)

_________

* I was sitting in the backseat and the cab driver (D) was talking to another customer (C) in the front seat.


C: Go from this bridge; it's faster. The minister is leaving work and that's why this other way is crowded.
D: Why does he have to leave during rush hour?
C: Because he has to show off. I mean, he can't leave when the roads are empty. He has to make an appearance with his cars and security.
D: This is the problem with this country.

Some time passes....

D: Is this a two-way street?
C: Yes, it is.
D: Well, look at this stupid guy in the wrong lane.
C: This why there's traffic all over! People don't follow rules!
D: Yes, this is the problem with this country.
C: Yes, and they are liars. They say there's only 20 million people in Cairo. I think there's more.
D: Definitely more! They say 70 million in Egypt, but I think it's 70 million in Cairo.

* I'm incredulous but don't say a word.

C: Easily 70 million! Look at this stupid guy. Still in the wrong lane.
D: In other countries, they have rules about these things. That's why they do so well.
C: Yes, they don't blame everything on routine. Here, you go to the government's office, they give you the run-around (I'm loosely translating here) and blame it on routine.
D: Yes, I know! And to go to get your photo I.D. is 15.50 L.E. Who can afford that?
C: Everything is computerized and half the time the computers don't work.
D: Yes, when everything was on paper it was so much better! and faster!

Some time passes......

C: You know what else is a problem? Cell-phones!
D: Yes, it's a way for phone companies to get money!
C: Everyone has a cell phone now. Before it was only doctors and lawyers. Now, 13 year old kids have cell phones. This is terrible.
D: There was once this college student who rode with me for about 30 minutes. And she talked on the phone the whole time. It must have cost her 60 L.E. at least.
C: Let's say her dad's rich, but the more important thing is with whom was she speaking??? And how does her dad not know whom she's talking to?
D: Yes, I know.
C: Liberalism (inhiraf) has reached the homes, I tell you.

* I choke on my laughter.

C: It's still crowded.
D: Yes, always at this hour.
C: We should have gone from X street.
D: Well, God has chosen this path for us.
C: Indeed.
D: Look at the nile.. Did you hear the rumour about the infected water?
C: Yes, they said people threw their poultry in the water. Why do this? God has given us water-- Saudi Arabia wants out water in exchange for petrol- and look at what we're doing to it!
D: Yes, how will we afford bottled water?
C: better yet, is it healthy? Tap water is straight from the nile. What could be better than that??
D: As if we needed this disease. Everyone stopped eating chicken.
C: Yes, but the government won't be able to control it. How do we know everyone is complying with the order?
D: Why should they comply? I'm sure only a small percentage is infected and if they cook the chicken well there's no danger.
C: Good point.

* I reach my destination and get out.